Reflecting

Hi everyone. It’s actually kind of funny writing ‘Hi Everyone’, but I guess it’s literally true with a post on the web! Today feels like a great day to share.

I’m sure that everyone has brief periods of time in their life everything seems to come together – all at the same time – leaving no extra time for the things that you did and loved yesterday. Well, the last five months have been like that for me.

My time has been split between working full time, attending Yoga Teacher Training and being a husband, father and grandpa all at the same time. I’ve had both daughters in the house at the same time while also taking in my daughters good high school friend. I’ve had my truck totaled (no one hurt) and purchased a new car. I’ve juggled the holiday season and even managed to find time to gather a Christmas tree this year! It’s been crazy and nonstop.

The time that I had to blog, research (search the web) and play – doing yoga – all seemed to get pushed aside and set on hold the day I started Yoga Teacher Training.

It was hard adapting to the change. What was hard was losing that extra time that I spent blogging. What I’ve loved doing for so long, I simply didn’t have time for. That independent research and self discovery all got forced aside in order to explore someone else’s program. Even though ideas came to me and I wanted to craft something for the blog, there was always something more pressing that needed my attention.

Today, things are changing again.

Today, I took my final exam in the Teacher Training program.

Today, I completed my last class hours of sequencing.

Today, I am revisiting my blog! Yeah!

I would like to reflect upon some of my experiences during teacher training.

First off, the strongest memory that I have came during my first sequencing class. I’ve been practicing Yoga for years and naturally perform the moves – as a student – but when faced with that first sequencing class, I was a deer in the headlights. No, actually, it was worse. Not only did I draw a blank, but it shattered the image that I had of myself as a teacher. You know that image that’s similar to the image you’d create when you practice asking someone out or practice interviewing for a job. The scenarios that I’d created for myself, visualized, rehearsed and replayed to perfection in my head were clawed out, heaped on the floor and touched for everyone to see.

Fortunately (or maybe sadly, or with sympathy), I was not the only one. What I was feeling, I sensed, was being felt by just about everyone in the room. I was not the only one having that experience! It was a very traumatic experience that I’m sure will not be forgotten any time soon.

The best part about this experience is that I now realize that without that type of feeling, you never really develop the proper respect for the yoga instructor. The Yoga instructor puts herself/himself in a vulnerable position with every class. The vulnerability requires tools for support. That vulnerability must be based on strength.

Now that I’ve completed the basic training, I can see that the act of teaching yoga requires that you be – open – in that state of vulnerability or the yoga is just robotic. Being open requires a combination of humility and selflessness. Being open requires that you accept your own imperfections in life. Being open requires a non-judgmental attitude. Being open means you’re going to have to be sensitive – possibly even get hurt.

The second thing that really stood out today – in the closing circle – was that there are a lot of people willing to be vulnerable. The emotions (and words) shared by others that went through the same program come from an internal location that I can truly identify with. As I felt their words, I knew what they felt even if we can’t intellectually share the experience.

It was really unspoken, but it’s now my experience that the tools needed to teach yoga involve removing the personal defenses and letting the soul shine through. You have to simply step on stage. It’s like asking someone out. You have to understand that rejections come, but you can’t harden to them. In time, the love that you have and share will found and cherished by the right group of students.

Another way of looking this is that I’ve already failed and it didn’t kill me! The tools that I’ve learned should help me be able to set a good foundation and make forward progress. I don’t see failure as such a tragic thing any longer. It’s ok. Life’s ok. Things are going to work out just fine.

Even though tomorrow, I’ll be back at work doing the same old same old, I will treasure this new experience and find a way to get this experience to grow and bloom.

Have a great day!